Bill Veeck, who did more for America in one night than most of us do in a lifetime (the night in September 1937 he planted the ivy along Wrigley Field's outfield walls), said that the great thing about baseball -- aside from the fact that you do not need to be 7 feet wide or 7 feet tall in order to play it -- is: Three strikes and you're out, and the best lawyer can't help you. Baseball, which provides satisfying finality and then does it again the next day, is a severe meritocracy that illustrates the axiom that there is very little difference between men but that difference makes a big difference.

If Clemens indeed took performance-enhancing drugs, why is he risking a federal perjury charge by denying his use under oath?

Call it a hunch, and here's where the jokes take a temporary respite, but I believe Clemens is less concerned about the court of public opinion, about getting into the Hall of Fame, about the sanctity of his 354 victories and 4,672 strikeouts than he is about the faces at his dinner table.He has four reasons to fight for his good name and pray McNamee or anyone else lacks proof that he took steroids, four reasons to take his denials into reckless territory, risking a conviction and jail time. Koby Aaron, Kory Allen, Kacy Austin and Kody Alec. They are Roger and Debbie Clemens' sons. They are ballplayers.

Baseball's code of silence protected many of the cheats. They figured their secrets would be safe forever. Some players are going to get away with using performance-enhancing drugs. Those who have been caught are paying a high price in terms of having their accomplishments and reputations tainted. Some might end up paying with their freedom. Will it ever end?

50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Mary J. Blige were prescribed and shipped steroids by a Long Island chiropractor and a South Florida osteopath, says Brendan J. Lyons of the Albany Times Union, who won't name his sources. The entertainers haven't been accused of actually taking the drugs normally associated with baseball players and Olympians, and Mary J.'s spokesperson denies that Blige has ever used any performance-inducing drugs.

But let's pretend they totally took 'em. What exactly would the side effects be, other than an increased ability to beat home-run records with their big muscles?