redblueamerica.com

The great thing about the election season is that we all get to see democracy in action.

I’m not talking about the race for the Democratic Party’s nomination. There’s nothing terribly democratic about that. Not with Superdelegates, disenfranchised states and rogue reverends running around.

I’m talking about American Idol.

 The election process in American Idol is so much more satisfying than the process we rely upon to elect our president. People are judged on talent. The field is narrowed down every week. People actually care about the results. Forty-six million voted this week!

The ratings are great and the voting helps boost the economy.

So, this is how it should work. The judges should be Tim Russert (in the Randy Jackson seat), Doris Kearns Goodwin (taking Paula Abdul’s spot) and, of course,  Rush Limbaugh (as the obnoxious, caustic, Simon Cowell).

Like the real Idol, start the process with a nationwide search. Give each “auditioner” three minutes to lay out their positions. After two weeks of searching, the Final 12 are invited to Washington D.C. to compete.

Instead of a two-year campaign, the whole thing is over in less than three months.

Each week, the candidates take on the issues. Celebrity guests help out the candidates with their positions. Colin Powell helps them brush up on military issues. C. Everett Koop helps out with health-care. Alan Greenspan coaches them on the economy.

You get the idea.

After an exhaustive nationwide search, Presidential Idolwas narrowed down to these final 12 contestants: Barack Obama, Dennis Kucinich, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, John Edwards, Ron Paul, Joe Biden, Bill Richardson, and Sam Brownback.

A great group. Six Democrats. Six Republicans. The group truly runs the political gamut.

Week One: Brownback is eliminated. Like Dorothy, he woke up from a wild dream to find himself back in Kansas.

Week Two: Bye Bye Kucinich. Kucinich was this year’s William Hung. He was so bizarre as to fascinate the voters, but too out there to be seriously considered for the presidency.

Week Three: Turns out that Joe Biden’s speech on the economy was plagiarized from John Maynard Keynes. He’s gone.

Week Four: In a shocking development, Rudy Giuliani is out and Ron Paul stays in. Giuliani calls for an immediate Justice Department investigation and a recount. Judith Giuliani is so upset, she throws her tiara at Russert.

Week Five: His 15 minutes of fame having come to an end, so does Ron Paul’s candidacy.

Week Six: Bill Richardson reminds the voters too much of Ruben Studdard… voters decide they’re not going to make that mistake again.

Week Seven: Viewers are stunned to see that there are 700 people in Mitt Romney’s friends and family section. Voters fail to show him the Big Love.

Week Eight: Edwards and Huckabee are in the bottom two, but divine intervention saves Huckabee for another week.

Week Nine: Even God can’t save Huckabee this week. Easily the most charming contestant, Huckabee loses favor after equating liberalism with betisality. As he departs, a tearful Huckabee entertains the crowd with a rousing rendition of Onward Christian Soldiers.

Week Ten: With Just McCain, Obama and Hillary left, it’s getting awfully interesting. As soon as the three hit the stage, Hillary hits Obama with a sucker punch. The two wrestle to the ground, while McCain stands on the sidelines smiling. When the votes are counted, there have been no calls from either Michigan or Florida. Hillary is eliminated.

Week Eleven: This is it. Obama vs. McCain.

If you like Obama…. call 1-800……… or just text……..